Relationships: Why dating a mummy’s boy could be a disaster

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    By Mary Asujo

    It’s healthy when a man has a good relationship with his mother. In fact, study indicates that there is a big chance that the positive bond that a man has built with his mother can go a long way in influencing his ability to be a supportive and loving spouse. A man’s relationship with his mother can to some extend influence his relationship, particularly when that bond becomes unclear in some way. Mummy’s boys are usually men who are extremely attached to their mothers and dating them can be quite a nightmare. Here is why you should be careful;

    They may have a co-dependent relationship with their mothers

    According to a marriage expert, Moureen Ataala, Mama’s boys may be excessively attached to their mothers, but please don’t think for a moment that he is solely responsible for the unhealthy dynamic. These relationships are often rooted in co-dependency, meaning that both parties have formed unhealthy attachments. These attachments are usually strong and manauvering through them can be a hard task especially that you are joining the club at a latter stage.

    His mother may break your borders

    Ataala adds that since her relationship with her son already lacks healthy boundaries, there’s a pretty good chance that she will overstep in her interactions with you as well. The violations will start off small, such as an off-color joke or a slick remark, but they will quickly escalate if left unchecked.

    “Such a man will never decide before consulting his mother. This may not be pleasant as you could be placed in the last option because even when it comes to child bearing, endorsements come from her first,” She says.

    He will always put her first

    Ataala says that the roles of a girlfriend or wife are very different from that of a mother. For this reason, there should never be a competition between those holding the two positions because it’s just unnecessary, sadly, when these unhealthy attachments are formed, both mom and son strongly believe that mom’s wishes and opinions are paramount, thus making it difficult for another woman to ever fully enter the picture without completely taking a backseat.

    She will hold decision-making power in your relationship

    Patricia Arinda another expert says that when it comes to being in a relationship with a mama’s boy, it’s important to understand that mom will hold serious weight when it comes to decision-making. In other words, there’s a chance that she will have a strong influence on decisions that you and your partner should be making together. While this may not present a huge problem in the beginning, once things become more serious and more is at stake, things can get ugly.

    He will compare you to his mother

    Derrick Yayi a father of one explains that it’s not uncommon for men to loosely compare their female partners to their mothers. However, mama’s boys have a tendency to take this overboard. They often look to their wives or girlfriends to cuddle and spoil them in the manner that their mother does.

    To an extent, dating a mummy’s boy is better than a player: Look out for this in the next issue on Relationships.

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